Milkmemos Blog

The title of this post is the subject line of an e-mail that Cate sent to me yesterday. So, is it true? YES — in Colorado at least! Cate testified in front of the Colorado Senate Business Committee in support of Colorado House Bill 08-1276: “Workplace Accommodations for Nursing Mothers.” They voted 5-1 in favor (I’d like to wring the neck of the “1″ — what’s wrong with people?) Now it goes to the Senate for a vote — and finally (hopefully) to Gov. Bill Ritter’s office.

I wasn’t there to see Cate testify, but I know this much: she was amazing. Get Cate talking about moms and workplace lactation, and she’s unbelievable! She not only explained why workplace lactation accommodation is good for business — but showed that it is not complicated. Her testimony, plus that given by four nursing moms and the La Leche League International founder, will now hopefully put a law on the books that will change the workplace experience for many moms to come.

This goes to show that we CAN ignite change. We can make a difference! Exciting stuff.

Last week, Cate and I were interviewed by Forbes Magazine for an article about how to survive the first week back at work.  So, if you know a mom who is getting ready to go back to work — or if you care to relive your first week back — check out the article, which was published on Tuesday.

Tara Forbes, the author, does a nice job of summing up what to expect and how to prepare. Enjoy.

The Milk Bank of New England needs your help! The Bank, formed in March of 2006, expects to start processing milk this spring, but could really benefit from a little financial boost. That’s where you come in. A site called IdeaBlob is running a contest open to anyone with a business or non-profit idea — and the Milk Bank of New England is up for consideration to win $10,000. Winners will be selected by votes cast online — so cast your vote today (the first round of voting ends on 1/21). Here’s how:

1. Go to the Got Milk IdeaBlob.
2. Cast your vote! (you’ll have to register first and then confirm by e-mail).

It’s that simple — and if the Milk Bank wins, they will use the money received for processing and storage equipment, a “milk money” fund (to help families whose insurance won’t cover processing fees,) and marketing materials to spread the word about the new bank.

Happy voting!

My Grandma Dorothy (who makes a cameo appearance in The Milk Memos on page 173) passed away a week before Christmas. Her health had been failing for a long time, so we all knew death was near. Still, endings are always hard. I find myself thinking I should have visited her more often and wondering what more I could have done to give her comfort in her last days. The last time I visited her (about a month ago), I brought Caleb with me. He put his hand in hers, and she smiled. She was blind, but she knew exactly whose little hand touched hers, and the realization gave her joy. I’ll always remember that. Little kids always seem to be able to bring smiles, no matter the situation.

Case in point: When we were at the funeral, my niece Ella (who is 3), peered over the edge of the grave where the casket was about to be lowered and said, “This does NOT look safe for Gramcracker!” We all laughed.

At the end of the funeral, both Ella and Caleb knelt by the grave and scattered rose petals, one by one, onto the casket. Gramcracker would have been proud. As I watched the petals float down, I started to wonder what my Grandma had been like at Ella’s age. She too had once been this small, cheerful and  full of wonderment. Where had her life gone? What were her proudest moments? Her private failures? Who will be standing at Ella and Caleb’s gravesite when they are ready to go to heaven? It’s almost too much to for my mind to imagine.

Death always brings perspective — and with Gramcracker’s passing, I found I worried less this year about the hustle bustle of Christmas, sending cards on time, and all of my external desires. I want this feeling to last. Not the sadness, of course — just a palpable desire to appreciate all that I am blessed with.

So, give your babies extra hugs and kisses today — and more tickles on their toes. These times with our little ones are more precious than we know.

I love how Caleb’s mind works. Today, on the way to school, he asked me, “What are baby bunnies called?” Pause. Longer pause. I had no idea! Then came the answer from the back seat: “Bunlings!” said Caleb. “What?” I asked. “Well, if ducks have ducklings, then bunnies have bunlings!” So, bunlings it is.  I love it. For those who want to know the real answer, a baby rabbit is called a kit. And when rabbits give birth, it’s not called birthing. It’s called kindling!

Caleb is sort of famous for coming up with his own “logical” names for things. He calls the place behind his knee “kneepits” (like armpits), and when he plays with my hair (a habit he formed while nursing as a baby), he calls it chut-chut or rub-rub, depending on the technique he’s using. He also calls his tie-dye shirt his “sky diving” shirt — because when he first heard “tie-dye” it sounded like “sky dive.” I always promise I’m going to write these things down in a book so that I can remember them in my old age, but who has time? This blog will have to be the next best thing!

I recently returned from Las Vegas — and I can tell you everything that happened while I was there. My brother says this is a sure sign that I did Las Vegas all wrong. I think his actual words (while laughing at me) were: “You’re a Vegas Virgin.”

But let me set the record straight. My husband and I travelled there for our first vacation together (sans kids) in over two years. Leaving Denver, we had visions in our heads of late nights, fancy meals, a few extra cocktails, sleeping in (but not so late that we’d miss the breakfast buffet), seeing a few shows, and maybe doing something a little wild and crazy. After all, we’re still hip, right?

Unfortunately, we set our sights a little too high. Being on a budget, we picked a hotel that was not in the heart of the Las Vegas strip. I mean, the address said it was on the strip — but this thing was past Circus Circus and the Stratosphere, for anyone who knows the area. For those who don’t, let’s just say we became very familiar with the bus driver during our stay. That is to say that I think I spent more time on bus trips than I did in all my years in grade school. Did I mention that it poured rain for two of the four days I was there (FYI — Las Vegas gets only about 10 rainy days per year)? This meant I had to stand at the bus stop (no umbrella, no jacket) in the pouring rain, while I could feel my naturally curly mane frizz out and give a new meaning to the phrase “bad hair day.” Our hotel had no restaurant (so much for breakfast buffet), no bar, and no in-room movie rental service.

Plus, my husband and I don’t even gamble. What’s there to do on a rainy day in Vegas if you don’t gamble and are on a budget (ie: no shopping)? Well, I’ll tell you what: have a melt down! All of the sudden, both of us started wondering if we were even capable of vacationing together without kids. Some vacation.

It was about that time that I remembered that we had forgotten to have an attitude of gratitude. After all, our good friends had treated us to see “O” (Cirque du Soleil) and to a very fancy dinner while there. I had gotten all gussied up and had my makeup done one night. In addition to “O”, we saw Mystere and Ka too. So, this story has a happy ending — we salvaged the vacation and even decided that we might like to go back some day. Next time, though, we’re staying on the REAL strip.

One observation I had about Vegas (and the real reason I’m writing this blog) is to say that breasts are everywhere in Vegas – peering out of dresses, popping out on billboards, pressing us against poles (in advertisements everywhere)! And amazingly, I didn’t hear one person complaining. There was no news story about how many breasts could be seen, nobody got kicked out of a restaurant, and nobody seemed uncomfortable. Isn’t it crazy how breasts are acceptable if they are sexy, but unacceptable if they’re used for their REAL purpose — feeding our babies!!

Until next time…

I hesitate to even acknowledge Bill Maher’s appalling September 14 monologue about the recent Applebees nurse-in (see background below) and the issue of breastfeeding in public. I am not a TV watcher, and (prior to this week) I honestly didn’t know exactly who Bill Maher was – I mean, I knew it was a name I should recognize, but I couldn’t have told you if he was a football player, business person, or TV personality/buffoon. (You don’t want me on your team in Trivial Pursuit!) I guess I wasn’t missing much. My new friend at salon.com (Katharine Mieszkowski, a breastfeeding/pumping/working mom) asked if I had any comments about Maher’s monologue. Take a look at the monologue for yourself – fast-forward until there are 2 minutes and 51 seconds of nauseating commentary left in the clip…

The background:

As you may know, there was a nurse-in at Applebees nationwide on September 8. This was to protest the fact that a waitperson and manager at a Kentucky Applebees restaurant insisted that a mother cover her son as she breastfed him in a booth at the back of the restaurant. Apparently, a customer had complained about indecent exposure. The Lactivist blog and the Motherwear breastfeeding blog both cover the story well (no pun intended).

The Lactivist also has something to say about Bill Maher’s commentary.

And I loved the salon.com Broadsheet article on it.  Seems it got plenty of attention — 220 comments and counting!!

Now for my two cents:

In a study of one Bill Maher monologue, it appears that he makes a living by saying outrageous things to offend large groups of people, while amusing others who agree with such things as comparing “retarded” children with dogs, making fun of Steve Irwin’s death and suggesting that Hooters is the only place where breasts and food go together. So he’s not really my kind of guy.

1. I believe babies have a right to receive breastmilk, and to receive it directly from their mothers’ breasts.

2. I believe that men who think breasts (and women) are sexual objects should grow up.

3. I believe that if more people understood the extent to which breastmilk benefits babies, mothers and, ultimately, society, the debate about nursing in public would be over. And the formula industry would have to find another cash cow to milk.

4. I believe that people who are offended by breastfeeding in public should look the other way.

To Bill Maher, I say: think about the fact that a breastfed baby is 39% less likely to develop Type 2 Diabetes, 19% less likely to have Leukemia, 27% less likely to have Asthma, and the list goes on. A breastfeeding mother is 28% less likely to have breast cancer, 21% less likely to have ovarian cancer, and the list goes on. Not so funny, after all!

In the end, it’s really about what’s best for the BABY - in fact, what’s NEEDED by the baby, not what’s preferred by Applebees diners… or Bill Maher!

5. I believe that Bill Maher should NOT procreate!

What do you believe?

All for now, Cate

Oh boy, I have so much to update you on. I attended a breastfeeding conference, International Lactation Consultant Association, a couple weeks ago in San Diego. Wowie, did it open my eyes and get my heart pumping! I’ve been wanting to blog about it, and give you the highlights, but I haven’t done it yet. Between school starting, a fabulous 4 day camping trip in the Rocky Mountains (which Charlotte and Mary LOVED), a very cool freelance project, and Lord knows what else, I’ve had my hands full. My newfound friend, Tanya Lieberman, blogger for Motherwear, wrote a good summary — right when she got home - she’s probably the type who finished her homework EARLY, but I like her anyway. (There’s even a pic of Tanya and me in her blog. So how can I not like her?)
But… what I’m fired up about today is a bunch of juicy discussion about breastfeeding in the news.

1. salon.com covered the book last week - hooray! It generated some interesting comments (letters to the editor), too! (I had to chime in myself)
2. MomsRising sent a mass e-mail and has a discussion on their website about the Breastfeeding Promotion Act. You can tell your own story (and look for my comment) and also sign a petition in support of the Act.
3. salon.com then covered the MomsRising piece. (I wrote a good letter to the editor in the associated blog, if I say so myself.)
4. The Washington Post had an article today titled “Breast-feeding ads blunted” about the influence of formula companies in this public health matter. I have some more thinking to do on this one, and would be interested in hearing your thoughts.

I’ll elaborate when time permits, but wanted to go ahead and post these items.
Hugs, Cate

Two posts in two days! How about that?!

I just have to tell you about day 2. Today we got to the bus stop 5 minutes early (no small feat). Our orange tabby cat Pumpkin was there waiting for us! (Some people would consider that a coincidence, but I know Pumpkin already has this bus thing all figured out.) Another little girl, Megan, walked up. She is our kitty-corner backyard neighbor, and they have a trampoline, plus (you’re going to think I’m really crazy now) I swear we’ve seen them ice skating in their backyard in the winter. So, clearly, she is a good friend to have. Anyway, Megan is starting 2nd grade, I think. She said shyly, “Charlotte, are you sitting next to any one on the bus?” Charlotte replied, “I’m saving the seat next to me for Mary.” (This explains why Charlotte sat alone on the bus yesterday.) Leoni (our au pair) explained (in her lovely South African accent), “But Mary won’t be ready to ride the bus with you until year after next, big girl.” “Oh, right,” said Charlotte. Then Megan asked SO SWEETLY, “Would you like to sit with me and my friend, Whitney?” Pause. “Sure!” replied Charlotte. The bus pulled up at EXACTLY 7:38 and all the kids climbed in, Charlotte following confidently right behind Megan, neither girl even looking back! All the parents (and Mary) waved to the bus, and Leoni and I stood there on the sidewalk with big lumps in our throats as the bus pulled away.

Next, we took Mary to her first day back at pre-school. I kept looking around for Charlotte, I’m so used to her being there too, in pre-K! I wanted to make sure Mary felt special, too, so we took lots of pictures — she was ADORABLE in her chunky pink and red plaid sunglasses. Leoni and I posed with Mary for a picture. We got down on our knees to be at her height. So, of course, Mary got down on her knees, too! As we said goodbye, Mary promised to make friends with the new kids and tell them jokes if they got sad.

Is there anything in life better than being a Mom??!!

Cate

My dear, sweet Charlotte (a.k.a. Doodle Bug, Doodle Nut, Bugsy, Nutsy, Doodle, Sweetsie Pie, and of course, Lottie) is at this very moment attending her first day of Kindergarten. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! She’s going to our neighborhood public school, Crestview. She even rode the BUS!!! Hopped right on, clutching Ellie, her most special elephant toy. I could tell she was scared, and acting brave — which just makes my heart BURST. As the bus drove off, she was looking out the window with a big smile! Chris (my husband), Mary and I dashed to our car and raced the bus to school so we could be there to greet Charlotte. Off she came, down those HUGE bus stairs, still clutching Ellie. Half-smile at this point. I asked her if she rode with anyone nice, and she said no, she sat alone (GULP). But she was fine! She said the bus was bouncy and leany when it turned. The Kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Cerny, remembered Charlotte’s name (from meet the teacher day; also she goes to our church, which is nice). She put Charlotte’s name tag on, and all the students lined up and marched into the school. “Bye, Doodle Bug! I am so proud of you! I love you!” Charlotte turned, smiled (big smile), waved, and walked into school. It all went so fast. Chris and I drove home with Mary (3 and a half yrs). Mary said she wished she could have ridden the school bus with Charlotte. “Your turn will be here before we know it, Mary-bug.” And so the mothering journey continues…

With love, Cate